Want to hear my theory of where bratty kids come from?

Of course Satan doesn't like angel's food cakes; he likes devil's food cakes! They were made for him! And he devours their sinful goodness on an hourly basis. His gluttony gives him constipation. "Oh, Beelzebub" he'll say, because he can't say "Oh, God", cause you know... Well, since parks attract a lot of human activity and the potential to influence people to sin, they are one of Satan's favorite places to be. And when he really has to go, he goes into the nearby forest, and thus brats are born from his..ahem. And that is why I am pestered by rotten children every time I go to my local park. This is also my theory of how the antichrist will come to be, although that will probably take a combination of devil's food cakes, prunes, ketchup...